Four options for responding to an unpleasant message:
Someone says: “You are the biggest egoist I have ever known”.
Blaming (jackal):
- Blaming myself: “Oh, I should really be more sensitive to others”.
- Blaming others: “You are projecting how you are on me”.
Understanding (giraffe):
- To understand my feelings and needs: “When I hear you say that I am the biggest egoist you have ever known, I feel hurt for I want you to acknowledge my efforts of taking your needs into account”.
- To understand others feelings and needs: “Are you hurt because you want me to take into account your needs more?”