| DAY | Major Topics | A bit more detail |
| Monday AM | Jackals vs. four steps (floor cards) | Noticing our Judgmental Way of Thinking Translating into Giraffe with 4 steps |
| Monday PM | Enemy images, prejudices | Demo enemy image process Then do it in groups |
| Healing and Reconciliation Process NVC H&R Process – Short | Taking some time to explain this process Maybe include recording Marshall? | |
| Tuesday AM | Healing Relationship – Inner (Mourning) | Chooser – making choices and why Can be combined with dyads |
| Tuesday PM | Healing Relationship – Inner (Integration time) | Empathy for our inner (jackal) educator “When we acted in a way we did not like” |
| Wednesday AM | Healing Relationship – Inner Chooser Educator (Gratitude) | Make list of most frequent inner jackals Choose 2-3 jackals and share in dyads a self-empathy process |
| Wednesday PM | Healing Relationship – Outer (Integration time) | Healing and Reconciliation process (restorative justice demo) |
| Thursday AM | Healing Relationship – Outer (Beauty of Needs Dyads) | People do process in groups |
| Thursday PM | Healing Relationship – Outer (Integration time) | People do process in groups |
| Friday AM | Restorative circle Hearing each other in a group | |
| Friday PM | Feedback – Intentions for next steps | |
Daily schedule
| 08.00 – 09.00 | Breakfast |
| 09.30 – 13.00 | Session 1 + 2 (break at 11) |
| 13.00 – 14.00 | Lunch |
| 14.00 – 15.00 | Free time |
| 15.00 – 18.30 | Session 3 + 4 (break at 16.30) |
| 19.00 – 20.00 | Supper |
| After 20.00 | Free time (may be other activities, if so desired) |
Repeated daily activies
- Integration Time – 30 minutes, various ideas – connect with nature, be present and open hearted (every day in the afternoon)
- Guided meditation (5-15 minutes)
- Gratitude and celebrations time (30 minutes max)
- Dyad meditation on needs (30-40 minutes)
Empathy
- Input – Receiving Empathically
- Exercise – Receiving Empathically?
- Exercise – Empathy for Self, Empathy for Another
- Empathy when hearing „no“
- Four Ears – Jackal and Giraffe Communication
- Empathy in silence
Monday
Session 1 – Welcoming, introductions, intentions …
Welcoming part – hello from the trainers, translator, assistants … (10 minutes)
One round with saying your name and one thing you liked this morning and what general mood you are in – and use just 30 seconds for this. (10 minutes)
Introductions – make introduction in a connecting way, for example: “What are the three most important qualities you value in communication or in relationship?” Do this in dyads. When they come to the group, ask each person to introduce the values of their partner. Give the partner a choice to add something. (20-30 min)
Intentions – What are your main intentions/expectations for this retreat?
Share in the group. (20 minutes)
Plan of the retreat – prepare flipchart – with general plan (10 minutes)
Daily schedule – put on door too
Organization stuff – maybe before lunch break
Coffee break
Session 2 – All actions intend to meet needs
Excercise 1 and Input on Needs/strategies – demo of 4 steps
1. Think about something a person does that you cannot empathize with.
Write on flipchart what this person does, that you cannot empathize with. (10-15 minutes)
2. Understanding someone does not mean we agree with their actions.
Example – murder – we may not agree, yet we may understand a human motivation for this action
3. Ask people to imagine needs behind the actions written on the chart
Collect needs on flipchart. (20-30 minutes)
4. In the end – show flipchart with
“All actions are intended to meet universal human needs.”
5. Demonstrate four steps with one of the jackals from the first collection.
Add nothing more before lunch.
Session 3 – Make jackals wonderful again!
1) Flipchart – People only say two things – Please and Thank you (15 minutes)
Exercise – Please insult me!
Demonstrate between trainers first.
Jackal: “You are just like a locomotive without a conductor!!” (please in suicidal way)
Giraffe translating the jackal – Demonstrate hearing the needs …
2) Exercise celebrating jackals
What needs to jackals fulfill?
What gifts are they bringing to us?
Coffee break
Session 4 – Transforming jackals with empathy support / floor cards
3) Exercise – Transforming jackals – four steps floor cards with zero step and empathy support
Prepare materials / handout for this exercise
a) Space for listing of jackals – one side of page
b) recommendations for empathy support – other side of page
c) prepare sets of floor cards
a) collecting some jackals individually (5 minutes)
b) demo transformation (10 minutes)
c) Work in pairs on translating jackals (60 minutes)
4) Harvesting (15 min)
Tuesday
Morning
1) Short meditation in the beginning about awareness and how it lives in us
2) Input: Stopping – Attention as a Choice – Awakening to our true nature
3) Input: Healing and Reconcilation Process
– A way to deal with conflict taking care of the needs of two sides
– Inner and Outer Conflict – We start with inner conflict
– chooser educator model
– Do a demo – using floor cards
Chooser – in every moment we chose that which makes life most wonderful
Educator – tries to educate us how better to take care of needs of all sides concerned
4) Do the exercise of Marshall from the IIT
– Ask group for educator jackals about some action they did/didn’t do today/recently.
– Give empathy to educator (Listen to jackals of educator, help to transform to needs)
– Chooser mourns not meeting needs of educator (perpetrator mourning)
– Educator gives empathy to chooser for making the choice in the first place (perpetrator needs)
Do a couple of those examples from the group within the whole group
Coffee break in between …
Afternoon
1) Coming back – doing dyads – what is alive?
Giving a chance to connect with each other, walking together outside
2) Delving a bit deeper into educator-jackals we have about us – maybe give a couple of examples from our own life – open heart space – then let them explore a bit in silence – then do a process in the group
Wednesday
Morning
Gratitude – meditation and/or dyads /or some other exercise – one hour?
Later in the morning – space to look deeper into our pain and transform jackals with the HR process
Afternoon
Go to outer conflicts …