These exercises are in preparation of an NVC Online class on February 1, 2025.

1 – Embracing our Jackals (Raising jackal awareness)
Jackals are a class of expression, that make someone wrong. Blame, criticism, judgments, insults and more can be all conveniently called a jackal. Jackals are the raw material we need in order to practice a different way of communicating. Therefore we propose to start with raising our awareness of this kind of thinking and communicating.
Trainers start with a few examples – training jackal awareness, starting on a light note.
Participants – Please use the next minute to write downi a few jackals, you recently have used – either in speaking or in hearing .
After one minute – ask participants to name one jackal each – going around.
Please make it one word or a sentence at the maximum.
We write them on the whiteboard – if tech support is available. (optional step)
Hopefully this will warm up the room with some jackal lightness.
2 – Input – Giraffe Communication – The NVC process
Demo – You are rude, you always interrupt me.
Trainers show two versions of a dialogue – one with habitual jackal reactivity, one with self-empathy.
Input follows on the four steps and how we use judgments as raw material for the four steps and also in order to stop. Using our judgments, instead of falling for their illusion.
The NVC Process, 4 aspects/steps (OFNR)




3 – Triads – What could be better in relation to kids in my life?
Work in groups of three to share 5 minutes about the difficulties in your relations with kids or other people. Listen to the others in your group and try to listen without judgments or without wanting to help them with anything, no advice or analysis please. Just be present and maintain an openness and curiosity. Speaking and listening are both active parts.
3b – Major jackal categories
4 – How to practice self-empathy
First collect a few examples – max 5-10 minutes.
Then invite someone to come forward to practice self-empathy – first do it in the group.
Coach a person doing self-empathy.
Do a second example.
Check for questions and then go to a longer exercise where all of the participants practice what they learned in the group. Give them 10 minutes each. The purpose is not for them to succeed, but to get a taste and to see what are their difficulties.
5 – Harvest of this exercise
We will get a lot of feedback from the groups and it will give us the opportunity to support participants and help them connect more.
6 – Tranforming Self-Blame
Take 1-2 minutes to find a situation when you made a mistake.
Write down in one sentence what you did.
Now stop and take your time to apply the four steps of compassionate communication.
- What are you observing?
- What are you feeling?
- What are you needing?
- What are you requesting?
Answer the questions one by one, as if you were a coach or your best friend.
7 – Transforming inner and outer “have to” – “should” – “must”
1) Say the “I have to _______” sentence. Connect to the unpleasant energy of feeling forced.
2) Transform the sentence, beginning with I choose to ________ and then follow it by the positive reason why you choose it.
"I choose to ________ , because I want to _________ ".
1. I have to go to work.
>> “I choose to go to work, because I want ______”
Feel the difference in your body.
2. I have to develop my skills in giraffe communication.
>> “I choose to develop my skills in giraffe communication, because I want ______”
Feel the difference in your body.
3. I have to pay this bill.
>> “I choose to pay this bill, because I want ______”
Feel the difference in your body.
Practice with your own examples
Name three things you think you have to do.
Go through the steps above with each of your “have to” items.
I have to ____
I choose to ____ , because I want ______ .
8 – Don’t do anything that isn’t play – acting from joy
Another important aspect of self-compassion is to check for the energy behind our actions.
See if any of the following is true:
I act out of fear.
I act to avoid guilt.
I act to avoid shame.
I act to fulfill our obligation.
From a giraffe perspective the only valid motivation for our actions is the desire to make life more wonderful for ourselves and others.
And when we see that we have a good reason to do what we do, we can feel an energy of “play” even in the hardest kind of labour. “Don’t do anything that isn’t play.” can remind you of your intention.
Obedience – Denying our own Humanity
Amtssprache (Duty, obligation, obedience)
Doing things because we think we are supposed to. It is the law. My boss said so.
Adolf Eichmann demonstrates how far people can lose compassion in this mode of thinking.