9.3 – Journal

Remembering – About Giraffe Ears

Giraffe Ears - Being Fully Present with the Heart
Giraffe Ears – Being Fully Present with the Heart

Giraffe Ears – Being Fully Present with the Heart

Breakout Groups

“Share with your partner about your experience of empathy in the last week.”

Sharing in main group

Connecting Compassionately With Ourselves – Chapter 9

Compassionate communication enables us to be in a more compassionate and understanding way with ourselves. In a first step we need to raise our awareness how unkind we speak to ourselves sometimes, even using threats or words that put shame on us.

To do this we split inside: One part of us is speaking about another part of us.

When we practice more self-compassion, we can be more compassionate with others.

Self-Empathy 1 – Be kinder to ourselves

First method of inner violence: Jackaling ourselves

When we make a mistake, we can use blame and judgment towards ourselves.
“How could you be so stupid?!” or “Such impoliteness is unforgivable.”

We can use the tool of the four steps of NVC to hear the feelings and needs behind self-blame or judgments directed towards ourselves from our inside.
Instead of hating ourselves or being angry about ourselves, we can mourn actions that were not in harmony with our values and we can then learn how to do it differently next time.

Exercise – Transforming Self-Blame

Questions, sharing


Self-Empathy 2 – Loving our freedom

Second method of inner violence – Giving our freedom away

Do we always have a choice?
Our language is aflood with ways to denounce our freedom as non-existing.
We must … – we have to … – we have no time … – we should …
How can we transform the inner loss of freedom and choice?

Exercise – Transforming “I have to”
Reclaiming our freedom

Self-Empathy 3 – Sharing in Silent Presence 

Third method of inner violence: not being present

Needs Dyad (45 minutes)


Self-Empathy 4 – The most beautiful motivation

Fourth method of inner violence: coming from an energy of forcing

Input on exercise 4
Don’t do anything that isn’t play
A radical statement, that can act as a remembering to stop and check from which inner energy and territory our actions arise. Do fear of shame, punishment, guilt motivate us, do act from a sense of duty or obligation? How do we feel, when we consider that this actually true for us in important parts of our life?

Exercise – Why do we do things we do not like to do?
Becoming aware of reasons why we are forcing ourselves to do certain things.
Choosing the energy we come from in our daily actions.

Expressing Anger Fully – Chapter 10

Pairs: How do you experience anger in your life? (10m)

1) Experiencing my own anger
2) Experiencing the anger of others

Input on managing anger in harmony with NVC

Notes on expressing our anger fully

Transforming Anger into Life-Serving Feelings and Needs

1. Learn to notice anger energy inside of you and do not act from that energy.
2. Stop. Breathe. Take time for empathy or self-empathy. Apply the NVC process:
2. Notice and identify your thoughts that imply wrongness (and distinguish from stimulus)
3. Sense into our needs (transform thoughts of wrongness into needs)
4. Do this until anger transforms into a primary feeling – often fear or sadness, mourning
5. Start a compassionate dialogue – express honestly (or receive with empathy first)

Anger Steps


Anger Process

Demonstration (20 min)
Feedback and questions (15 min)

Closing Circle